Sincerely
by JestaAriadne
Summary: Yuffie's leaving, and attempts to get her feelings onto paper. Not overtly Yuffentine, just reflections.


Sincerely

By JestaAriadne, March 2003

Another oneshot from this character.... It just sort of came out, again, which could be good or bad. Immediately post game. A letter to Vincent, rambly, exploring what might have happened with Yuffie and what she's going to do next.

I don't own Final Fantasy VII........

~~~

Dear Vincent,

OK, first of all, I feel like a total idiot writing that. "Dear Vincent." Sheesh. Never mind. I feel like a total idiot writing any of this in fact. Still, what else am I supposed to do? There's no way I could tell this to your face, is there? So, here you go, in a letter. Feel privileged, cos you're the only one who's getting an explanation before I sneak off like a thief in the night. Quite literally, in fact.

Please just read this; privately to yourself- if you DARE read it out so Cloud and everyone can laugh at it... well, I probably won't personally kill you cos I'll probably never see you again, but I will NOT be happy. Got it? Still, you wouldn't do that, would you? Good. Right. 

What am I trying to say? Thank you. It's stupid and inadequate to put it like that, I know. I _feel _stupid and inadequate all round, which is partly why I'm just writing this all down, sticking your name on the front and then getting the hell out of here before I can see your reaction. And I warn you that there might be a load of sentimental junk coming up, not sure I can help it. 

Thanks for saving my life. I might have said something to that effect back in the crater before I went and passed out, but it wasn't a hundred percent clear back then. I know what you'll say: it was nothing, anyone could have done it, it's nothing noble to be in the right place at the right time. Which is all true actually, except for the "it was nothing" thing - it was my LIFE, and I'm intending to hold onto it for a bit longer, thanks. But I'm still just really - grateful. Thanks for being there. In the right place at the right time. I don't care if it was luck. I LIKE luck. Anyway, if you hadn't been there I'd probably have collapsed and plopped down into Sephiroth and then got squished by a whopping great Meteor, or at least Holy coming to stop it, or Lifestream, or something. 

I still don't understand all that. Was Aeris - 

I'm doing this all wrong. I'm trying to write a thank you note, aren't I? Only I keep including so much more irrelevant bull. Here goes the simple way: THANK YOU. I can't come up with any coherent reasons, and I can't put it any more clearly than that. THANK YOU SO DAMN MUCH VINCENT VALENTINE, I LITERALLY WOULDN'T BE ALIVE IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU.

OK?

So that's the only important thing I've got to say. So maybe I should be going now. Only.... I'm not gonna see you again, am I? I've got a good few hours till dawn, and I'm all packed. So. So I'll keep writing. I may as well keep it up with the irrelevant bull as I'm not likely to leave you with a good impression of me anyway and I kinda need to get it off my chest. 

Were you scared? Fighting Sephiroth, confronting Hojo, stopping meteors all over the place. OK, so maybe it was just one. Whatever. Come on, you must have been. Don't tell me you don't have the humanity to be terrified out of your wits. Man, but it would be so ironic if _fear_ was the only thing they couldn't kill off in you... And don't even think about saying you NEVER were afraid because that's frankly a load of crap. I bet when you were a little kid however many years ago you used to freak out at going to the dentists or something pathetic like that. Or maybe you used to wet your pants at school when you got into trouble. Did you ever do that? Did you? 

Well, you don't have to answer that, though I hope it made you blush and I hope someone saw. I'd love it if you could blush! Bet you couldn't kill that emotion. 

It's not just that. You care about things. And any guy who has the guts and personality to backflip onto the Highwind's gotta be capable of something like real feelings and impulses. Not to mention you've got the stomach for those backflips... you're so lucky to miss out on travel sickness you know! Count your blessings! 

And however much you're trying to hide it, you're not as pure-dark-angst as you act sometimes. Why do you do that, anyway? I know you've had a pretty awful life, some of it anyway, but.... Well, OK, maybe you have point. But there's got to be some good out there in the world somewhere. We've had some good times, saving the world, right? What can I say... I don't UNDERSTAND exactly about your life - could that possibly be because you never try to explain it? But I know it's not all bad, even for me, even for you. No matter how much you act all angsty, your smile and your backflips are a dead give-away. 

You probably don't remember, but just before I fainted at the Crater, you smiled. Not because I was about to faint, I'm pretty sure, though maybe that would have made sense. You just looked so tired, but so relieved and full of this unbelievable released joy. Thing is, your scarf-thing had come off and I actually got to see your whole face smiling. I'm never going to forget that.

Sometimes I think I should stick around, just to make you smile or make sure you don't go lock yourself up in that coffin again. Then again, I'm apparently enough to drive anyone insane, and it's insane people who lock themselves up in coffins, right? Still, whatever, I'm not going to be staying here in Rocket Town with the rest of this pleasant, strained gang for much longer. 

I'm leaving in half an hour. 

Stupid isn't it? I'm going home. Right now. Yeah, maybe I'd like to see all you lot again, but it's stupid to assume that any of you would like to see me again - and there's not exactly much realistic hope of keeping track of where on the Planet you all get to. Realistic. Yeah. Maybe I'm trying to be realistic. I've tried to get out of reality and responsibility and all that once too often, I think. I've had one narrow escape too many, and so I'm going home.

Realistic. 

I think I hate that word still.

What I _wanted _was for me to end up travelling the whole wide world and finding every type of materia known to man, plus a couple extra ones no one had ever see before - and I wanted for it all to make me happy. And guess what? It actually all happened that way, with the slight but problematic exception of that last part. So now, I'm off back to Wutai, tail between my legs, to my Dad who probably couldn't care less that I played some stupid small part in SAVING THE WORLD - with a vague kind of hope that maybe this kind of absence of happiness might be slightly more fulfilling at least.

Tell the others that's where I've gone, but don't you dare read them this letter. I've gone into more pathetic soul-spilling than even I'd dreamed.

So. Bye, Vincent. Come see me if you're ever in Wutai. 

(I thought about pinching a PHS, but there wouldn't really be enough to go around. Six. One for Reeve, the future president of the world, and the only guy who'll ever give public announcements through a weird talking cat. One for Nanaki. One for Barret. One for Cid, who's gonna marry Shera and start a space academy, or maybe just a tea plantation. One for Tifa and Cloud who are gonna marry each other and have tons of kids and probably call them ALL Aeris or something... One for you. ...What're you gonna do? I'm not sure I can guess. Hmmm...... I can really see you as a rock star, actually. You've got the dark'n'dreamy look sorted for sure, plus you can do backflips!!! Go for it and I'm sure you'll have fangirls up to your ears.)

Maybe I'm not ready to give into reality yet. Maybe I'll just hang onto my random hopes for another fifteen minutes at least before I leave. A final hopeful fantasy...

Well, in that case: I guess I'll see you soon. 

Yours the-most-sincerely-I've-ever-been, and missing you already

-Yuffie.


End file.
